I am easily distracted

So I said earlier in a post at Busy Bee that my plans for the afternoon were to clean out my shameful closet and take before and after photos. Here's what I've done so far (click on the image to see it larger):



Nothing sparks my creative instinct like the prospect of avoiding housework. This layout is very different for me...I don't do many heritage layouts. But last week I bought some Tattered Angels Glimmer Mists and Glimmer Screens (masks) that I wanted to play with, and this page was the result of that. I tried using the spray on canvas first, but I should have used watercolor canvas and the waterbased spray pooled too much on the treated canvas. In person the sprayed parts of the layout are beautifully shimmery but it's hard to photograph.

In other news, the drop-off of our little boarder went well. Ron took him while I was at horseback riding with Annamarie, and you can see from these photos that he is terrified by the thought of leaving his loving, nurturing family.





These photos were taken by Ron, bless his heart. I hope that orb in the second photo is Thomas' guardian angel. Ron said that when they arrived, the other boarders who hadn't gone home for the weekend were all sitting around playing Nintendo DS. He hoped that Thomas wouldn't be immediately bored to tears, clearly forgetting who he was dealing with. I'm sure that there aren't many opportunities for sitting around playing video games, but he just may be praying that rain always cancels planned activities.

Of course it's thundering

Because it's 2:30 AM and my youngest child, who is afraid of thunder and has never been away from me for a night except at my mom's house, is currently sleeping in a cabin in the woods with her fifth grade classmates. I know she's fine; she was fine at 10:00 when Ron was shooed out of the girls' cabin so that they could get ready for bed. But it's 55 degrees and it's been raining for 12 hours and I hope I sent enough dry clothes. And why did I talk her out of taking her stuffed horse, Stacey?

Ironically, on Saturday morning I will take my other child to school and leave him there forever. Well, maybe not forever, but until he remembers that he loves us and we're not so awful and he's ready to come home for a weekend. Thomas attends a boarding school where he has been a day student up until now, and he has been begging to board because it is SO NOT FAIR that he has to miss all the fun his friends have and do you know they get to stay up until 9:15?? On school nights?!?

We said no last year but there are so many reasons why this is the right thing for our family at this time, and we pray that it is going to relieve a lot of stress all around. The school worked with us financially after we told them we just didn't have any more money to give them, which was a real blessing. We are going to sell my van, which makes both me and Ron sad because we love the van, which is very luxurious compared to our other vehicles. But it is just one year old and we hope to be able to get a good price for it. So goodbye, leather interior and heated seats and surround sound and magic dimming mirror and automatic liftgate and sonar that keeps me from hitting the sides of the garage. And hello, morning/homework/bedtime battles being someone else's problem five days a week. Thomas is sure that it's going to be a constant slumber party, and he keeps brushing off the strict schedule and chores and evening study hall. I hope he loves it as much as he believes he will, and I hope it will be a real growth experience for him.

Tomorrow...my Thursday night TV observations. I know you have been holding your breath for that.

Too weary for a title

My children are back in Thomas' room "playing together." There is a lot of suspicious banging, some screaming, and the sound of a football hitting the mini-blinds. But I am sitting here calmly (lie) not getting involved, because I am not a helicopter mom.

Well, I don't want to be one, anyway. There's something about the nature of my relationship with Thomas that has turned me into a control freak, and it's not something I'm proud of. His ADHD combines with his attachment issues to make our relationship very contentious most of the time. I love the boy and have always felt like God picked him out specially for us, but he has the power to make me madder than any human being on earth. That seems to create a vicious cycle: I tell him to do (or stop doing) something, he refuses, and I decide that I. must. win. this. battle. I threaten him with consequences (usually loss of video game time), and he acts out more. I take away the video games, he yells, "Who cares?" (he does), and the original behavior never changes a bit. We may not be related by blood, but our stubborn streaks look a lot alike.

We have given Thomas relatively little independence for his age, but he will be 13 before long and I want to give him the chance to make more choices for himself. I've got to stop worrying and micromanaging--so what if he screws up and it goes on his Permanent Record? (Has anyone ever gained access to their Permanent Record?)I certainly screwed up plenty myself.

The backlash of the videogame-taking-away system is that without his prized electronics, Thomas is glued to my side. "Mom, watch this. Mom, listen to this." And of course, "I don't have anything to do." I suggest that he read the library books he begged me to take him for...no, he doesn't feel like reading. He has long wanted to be able to ride his bike around the neighborhood alone, so I say, "It's a nice day. Why don't you go ride your bike?" No, that's a terrible idea...he doesn't feel like it...blah blah blah blah.

Naturally, today when it is 65 degrees and pouring rain, he wants to ride his bike. And look! Look at me letting him make his own choices! Not hovering. But I start to worry when he's been gone an hour and a half. All the other kids in the neighborhood are back in school. Where could he be? I imagine his skinny little wet body lying in a ditch after he skidded off the wet road. Then I wonder if he has ridden, against our orders, up to the big road and over to the shopping center.

Just as I am pulling out of the driveway to look for him, he rides up. I manage to keep my mouth shut and get him dried off and warmed up. I make him a grilled cheese sandwich (he swears mine are the best ever), I listen to him play a hundred or so songs on the electronic keyboard, we play some cards, and wait for Annamarie to come home.



By bedtime we will be adversaries again, me directing and him balking, both of us yelling. And I will go to bed as I have every night for the past 10 years, praying for forgiveness and vowing to try harder tomorrow.

Sparklers

Never let it be said that we are not patriotic here in the Michener household. We have dragged the Fourth of July out all month, and last night we let the kids burn six boxes of sparklers. I got out my camera and told Thomas to keep his body still and wave his arm in a circle, but that was too mundane for him, so he drew a star.



Of course Annamarie wanted to draw a star too.



Then Thomas drew a heart.



And Annamarie drew...an ear.



Thomas started getting fancy and writing words. (I did reverse the photo)




Annamarie doesn't write quite as fast...she was going for "Mom." Awwww.